Have you ever felt like this? One day you wake up and you just aren’t yourself.
You feel like you need to get saved and maybe wonder if you ever were. You may feel angry at the world, snappy, and insecure all at the same time. Nothing in your life seems to have gone right. No matter who you think about your mind gets flooded with negative thoughts about them. Everybody, it seems, is just using you. Your past mistakes come flooding back. If you used to drink, cuss, or sleep all day because of depression—it's back! If you used to go clubbing or were promiscuous, the old thoughts come right back. Perhaps a connection from the past invites you out.
The key is this—YOU JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE YOURSELF, and that's because it isn't you… it's the OLD YOU! The problem is you don't know how to shake it off and get back in your “right mind.”
Ever hear of “familiar spirits?” They are the demons in your family lineage, “iniquities” in the blood line and they were involved in your own personal history. They know exactly how to maneuver themselves into the nooks and crannies of your thinking virtually undetected. They are expertly familiar with your old thought patterns. Ever been betrayed? The feeling of distrust rises up. Ever suffered lack? The feeling of greed and fear of poverty rises up.
These spirits know how to trigger old patterns of anxieties or lusts or whatever the issue was that plagued you. Yield to them an inch and they jump on you with condemnation till you break down and give in. Give in enough and you become a spiritual “Jekyll and Hyde.” This pattern exists in the private lives of every public meltdown and it's a shame we don't create SAFE PLACES for Christians to share their struggles in this battle. A wise mentor once said “people are only as sick as they are secret.” One of the best gifts in warfare is a non-judgmental friend.
Remember those old LP records? If you got a scratch on it the scratch came through every time the song hit that part of the album. Your life is like that. Some people get hit with depression at Christmas. I knew a girl who lost her mother at an early age and every Mother's Day she would be sad. These may look like natural patterns, but there are rhythms in life for you as well. Sometimes a person comes to mind every Spring and you can't get them out of your head. That's the sneaky thing about cycles and patterns; they are subtle and seem natural. Sabbath is a cycle every seven days. Neglect it, and you can be going to war when you should be resting and then you're too tired to fight when the actual battle starts!
Your greatest attack can come after your greatest breakthrough. Elijah defeated the false prophets on Carmel and afterwards got so depressed he wanted God to kill him. Backlash and breakthrough run together. Paul said “be anxious for nothing” by encountering and overcoming anxiety through Thanksgiving! If you never felt it you never slew it. (Thank you to Mark Chironna for that one.)
Follow these steps:
STEP ONE: Recognize that it is an attack. Paul said that spiritual armor is there so you can stand “in the evil day.” It's a brief period not a life long thing. If your warfare is constant and you are always getting beat up, something is out of alignment.
STEP TWO: You do ministry out of the anointing but you resist the devil and do warfare out of a strong inner man! Samson had a strong anointing and a weak inner man and lost it all. Joseph had a strong inner man and an anointing and got promoted after it all.
STEP THREE: Make yourself eat! When you are ill you don't have an appetite. Get around strong preaching. Read the Bible. Get a pen and circle everything that stands out. That act of faith with a pen will kick start a flow of insight.
God will give you a word for your battle. I’m standing with you for breakthrough!
As One,
Lance Wallnau
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